Its June End Already!!

Months and days fly by.... it goes by slower when your sad and depressed and faster when you are happy! Or rather it time flies when you want it to freeze and it seems like its frozen when you want it to fly or want a particular phase to get over.

Asking myself if I wanted the time to fly or freeze in the past few months... I just don't know the answer yet.... I was[and am] happy with my new life... but a part of me is still missing the old days..[I know I sound like a 80 year old here ;)] I miss college, I miss my friends, I miss my family... I miss the small pleasures of life I used to enjoy with my friends.... I miss Sanju.. I miss Renu... I miss everyone whom I have left behind... I wish to go back to college.. I crave to make full use of my time.. I wish to be independent... 

Most importantly.. I wish for pure productive competitive spirit, i crave for deadlines... sleepless nights...the feel of adrenaline rush before the day of a big submission... before exams..!

But what keeps me positive is that.. within exactly 3 months time[92 days to be precise], I will be doing something constructive,, something that I always wanted to do...its like a stepping stone for me to achieve all that i ever wanted to...[even though I have no big dreams and desires :)] I wish to show people that I am not as useless or as jobless as they think I am. I wish to prove people wrong for every word tehy have uttered that has hurt me... I wish to take revenge...Sweet Revenge...by proving them worng!

So now time is neither still or moving from my perspective... it just taking its own pace... I have moved from one place to another all throughout my life...staring from Bombay to cochin to Chennai to Malaysia and now to the UK... everytime with a new hope in my heart to do well and achieve all that I wish for during that phase [even though I have been disappointed in myself a couple of times] With all the optimism in me... I look forward to a new beginning! Hope all goes well!

Missing..misssin..missin.. Sa n Re :(

I am tired of tellin people how much i miss dem...

I miss Sa and Re and the 11 othrs...I miss ma class... i miss all de 43 weirdos.. i miss everythin abt chennai :(

My stay in chennai for 4 yrs.. wasn de most happiest of times in one way but in anoder sense.. it was de 4 best yrs of ma life till date... a lot of sweet sad memories.. makes it complete...met a lot of people... changed a lot ovr the 4 yrs.. both physically and emotionally..had a wonderful bunch of people who usd to love me and care for me...

I miss dose days... dan doesn mean my present life is incomplete,..its complete in its own way.. hav a very lovin husband.. Ra..he keeps me happy :)  but othr dan dat dis country has nuthin to offer...

-i miss india more dan anythin els.. didn realise even de smallest of things wud b missed by me..our country may not b developed.. or modern but once u stay away, u wud love it de way it is :)

-i miss Re scoldin me.. for not eatin.. for not sleepin.. for not learnin to tel "NO"..more dan anythin i usd to love de way.. she usd to love and care for me.. even durin de worst of de temper n outbursts... miss her for all de fun i hav had wid her.. She usd to take care of me like a mom..[hitler mommy tho] :) she was de best in her own way... usd to love her watch gettin tensed ovr de smallest of things... especially before examz... i usd to hate de way she usd to feel insecure and her inferiority complex... but little does she noe dat she is de best at a lot of things.. she loves one unconditionally and would go to any extend to help..

I still like de way she loses temper wen i dont reply and wen i do reply..she all melts and forgives me... till today evn if v havnt been in touch for long. we still noe dat wherever v r, we are always der 4 each othr... :)

-'Sa'..one of ma 1st frnds in colg.. has been der for me thru thick n thin... though entirely different frm Re ,we still are gud frnds... :) I could probably say she is a lot different frm Re... someone who takes things lightly.. be it examz or anythin... she was de one who usd to make me laugh most of de times. she noes how to make a person laugh evn wen they r cryin their head out,... she shows her love in an entirely different way.. one of de emotionally strongest women i hav known.. :) one de most creative people... she was de one.. who usd to keep evn de most borin of lectures excitin... her creativity extended frm... usin susu's candy..to make b***s to writin de weirdest of poems in malayalam[supposedly malayalam] :) de way she usd to get looks frm lecturers..be it Amalore or Romila..:) loved to tease her... for all de weird food she ordered.. to de weirdest drinks possible.. have spend ages talkin to her abt things dat never made any sense...

we could spend hours talkin abt people on de road , girls frm colg.. to anythin undr de sun... guess we weren de best of pairs wen it came to makin serious decisions.. Re was de one who usd to put some sense into our heads...

I miss you both a lot... :(

At times, when I am all alone, all to myself, having no one to talk to, makes me wonder, makes me think.... do any of us know which way our life is heading to? I am a person who loves to talk talk and talk. So these quiet moments make me wonder and wander a lot.

Exactly say 4 years back, when I had just joined college to do my bachelors, little did I know, that a bunch of 13 girls would make a great impact in my life. Now that you think about it, it almost seems impossible.... all 14 of us sitting in different corners of the class, probably sitting and judging each other or probably even bitching or just being anxious of whats in store for each, wondering what we are going to learn and if we are good enough to be there etc...

During the 3 years never even was there one day when i used to keep ma mouth shut... or was bored...[other than just tellin dat am bored, when others do :)] and den life takes its turn...

Now i am happily married wid R, but evn then life doesn feel complete, i am here in a land where i no one othr dan him, whereas bak in ma country i knew atleast someone wherever i went. So it does feel weird now! I want people arnd me.. i want my frnds wid me.. I hate being alone :(

The Beginning!

I  have always loved reading blogs, something about them have fascinated me, the way people express themselves, the way your able to relate to them, things that you never knew about a person, and the list goes on.

Talking about reading blogs, a recent one I read, was of my college friend's M... It really caught my attention, loved reading her blog and did tell her too :) I have always wanted to write but it took me this long to discover that this is the best way to do it.

So I am here, entering the world of blogs..... rather entering the other side of the world of blogs,.....have always been a reader,.. now writing too... guess this might help me express myself better.......